by Irvin S. Cobb
To G. H. L.
Who stood godfather to these contents
This Space To-Let to Any Reputable Party Desiring a Good Preface
IV. Hands and feet
Dr. Woods Hutchinson says that fat people are happier than other
people. How does Dr. Woods Hutchinson know? Did he ever have to
leave the two top buttons of his vest unfastened on account of his
extra chins? Has the pressure from within against the waistband
where the watchfob is located ever been so great in his case that
he had partially to undress himself to find out what time it was?
Does he have to take the tailor''s word for it that his trousers
He does not. And that sort of a remark is only what might be
expected from any person upward of seven feet tall and weighing
about ninety-eight pounds with his heavy underwear on. I shall
freely take Dr. Woods Hutchinson''s statements on the joys and
ills of the thin. But when he undertakes to tell me that fat
people are happier than thin people, it is only hearsay evidence
with him and decline to accept his statements unchallenged. He is
going outside of his class. He is, as you might say, no more than
an innocent bystander. Whereas I am a qualified authority.
I will admit that at one stage of my life, I regarded fleshiness
as a desirable asset. The incident came about in this way. There
was a circus showing in our town and a number of us proposed to
attend it. It was one of those one-ring, ten-cent circuses that
used to go about over the country, and it is my present recollection
that all of ...